Ok, so, I'm nearing college, my parents are thinking of moving, my mom thinks I should change my career choice, my ACT math and science scores are too low so I'll need to take the test a second time, I have no clue which college I'm going to seriously gun for, I keep hearing things about the church that make me quirk my eyebrows, and ideas pop into my head but before I could even think about acting on them, I'm reminded by some part of me that it is unlikely to happen. I am a writer. Writers write more than talk, so I don't often feel the need to talk. When I do feel the need to talk, away from when I'm watching children, there is no-one for me to talk to that won't get bored, or that even hear me. This is a rant. A rant about how hard it is trying to sort out college, high school, what I'm going to do after college, what I'm going to do before college, how I'm going to pay for... living, and dealing with my family. I mean really. Look at all that! And to cap it off, I am, if you haven't noticed, quite introverted. And I'm looking at an extrovert's career path. So many things say I can't do it and yet I know that I am meant to work with kids. I felt as though God told me that I was suppose to work at an orphanage possibly as a children's pastor, years ago and I still feel that I need to work with kids. Teacher, daycare worker, social worker, counselor, pastor, it doesn't really matter. I want to work with kids. Teacher Education and/or certification can get me babysitting, daycare, or teaching jobs which are markets that are good if not great. I might be able to do counseling or social work, but... I don't know! I just don't know! I feel like a kid, just some hotshot. Like I never out grew the annoying little sister phase. Just thinking about all this while writing it is making me want to start crying. It's like, I cant do anything right! Nothing worth while anyway. There might be an extremely slim chance of me making a living as an author but only the slimmest of chances. I don't care what you've heard, there is barely a shadow of a chance that I'll even publish a book, much less that book being a best seller. *sigh * Ranting once in a while is good. Releases tension. Ok, on with the rest of my day.
Later!
Lil Bit
