Change of the Season

AS the vibrant colors of Fall fade to the cold gray and brown of winter and the winds turn cold, I find myself sitting in my room, the heater turned to mid, a blanket across my legs, a computer on my lap, and a steaming mug of some hot beverage(tea or coco. Never much cared for coffee. Plus coffee has far too much caffeine for me). I'd have a purring cat too, but sadly our cuddly cat passed away not too long ago. Princess shall be missed, but we knew the day would come. She was old, and sick in the end, so her death hasn't hit me too hard. And we still have our other cat, she just isn't the type to stay inside and sit on one's lap. But enough about my cat! I was talking about the change of the season and how I responded. Allow me to continue from the beginning.

AS the vibrant colors of Fall fade to the cold gray and brown of winter and the winds turn cold, I find myself sitting in my room, the heater turned to mid, a blanket across my legs, a computer on my lap, and a steaming mug of some hot beverage(tea or coco. Never much cared for coffee. Plus coffee has far too much caffeine for me). My hands turn to ice as the air chills me from inside and I bemoan the state of the central heater and the lack of effect my little space heater seems to have on my room should the door remain open. The dog sits on my bed near every chance she gets to escape the frigid floors of my great old house. As I shamble forward from my room in the morn to begin my morning routine, my nearly bare feet come in contact with the harsh tile of the bathroom floor and a chill spreads through my body. I shiver and squeak until once again I am safe and warm upon my bed, my blanket back across my legs. Motivation comes in fits and starts, and my muse has curled up to hibernate, or so it seems. I am reduced to spouting off the most random of prose sounding drivel and hoping someone will listen, or at least that no-one will tell me to simply shut up. Honestly, if you came across a person who was rambling on like this on the street corner or in the hallway at work or at school, what would you do? See, its different on the internet. on the internet, silly, slightly crazy, people such as myself can rant and mutter and ramble and people can either read it or ignore it, and they don't judge said silly and slightly crazy people as just that. Silly slightly crazy people. To the web surfer, these rambling posts could say something profound, or provide a source of amusement, but rarely do they outright say 'shut up you silly person' to the writer. Granted, they might say something meaner and more foul should they decide to post such a comment, but I do not curse and so shall not write such obscenities on my blog. Okay, I've derailed twice since starting this post, I think it safe to say that my focus has been lost. Until my fitful inspiration for this blog strikes again!
Lil Bit.

Charger Cords, Temper Leashes, and Bible Verses

What do these three have in common? I needed them today. Actually, Grammy started talking to Noise about bible verses and asked me if I knew any. I responded to her question 'do you know John 3:16' with the King James Version of the verse... I think. Then I said, 'sweet words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and health to the bones,' which is Proverbs 16:24. Then we both, meaning my Grammy and I, tried to say Psalms 23 by memory. We knew the gist of the passage, but we mixed up the order and couldn't seem to stay with one translation. Here is the English Standard Version of Psalms 23.

"Psa 23:1  A Psalm of David. The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.
Psa 23:2  He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters.
Psa 23:3  He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
Psa 23:4  Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
Psa 23:5  You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.
Psa 23:6  Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the LORD forever."

This was from the E-Sword app. on my computer. We got the middle mostly right, but as I said, we muddled the order. So... what about cords and leashes? That comes next. My power cord for my Toshiba, which I had recently relinquished to the shop for a replacement power port, refused to charge my dear computer. That's when I needed to clamp a short leash on my temper, and my anguish. My dear, dependable, boredom relieving, and school administrating laptop would not charge. The gut wrenching terror and sheer helpless hopelessness from the first moment I noticed a problem with my laptop returned and I had to tighten down my emotions before I broke down and cried. My little brother did not help matters. For some odd reason, the sound of his voice when I am aggravated or frustrated or just plain upset for no apparent reason just serves to irritate my displeasure further. And so, I needed a new power cord as well as a good bible verse and a very short temper leash that, despite my efforts, slipped out just a little too far with my dearest little brother. Tell me, if you can and if you have not simply left this mindless drivel for something with real substance, why do younger siblings always serve as irritants?

In health, and fair temper,
Lil Bit

The Woes of a Semi-Responsible Older Sister on Cleaning Day

Yes. The dreaded Cleaning Day has struck my home. Mom has reached her breaking point. Noise hasn't been taking it well. He had the flu, or at least a mild fever, most of this week and has only just(read barely) gotten over it. Okay, enough with this, on to the real breakdown/storytelling portion of the post so as to explain my choice of title. Though it should be fairly self-explanatory.

Mom reached her breaking point on the mess and clutter and dirt(plus hair. Three people with long hair, a dog, and a cat produce almost enough hair to get a gerbil from one room alone, especially when you vacuum.) and with her being about the only one doing anything about it. And so, today was declared Cleaning Day. Naturally, when Noise was told that he had to clean he collapsed and began to whimper. When he was told he had to do school... well. I think you can guess how he feels about doing both today. I've had to 'play mommy' twice today. Here's a run down of roughly how these 'talks' go.

Me: stand
Noise: *stands *
Me: deep breath
Noise: *breaths a deep, shuddering breath *
Me: wait
Noise: *waits on his bed and drinks some of his water while I get tolet paper *
Me: blow.
Noise: *does as I ask * *repeat(
Me: Now tell me, clearly and without stuttering or crying, what is wrong.
Noise: I have to...
Me: *calmly works him through it *

And I'm about to do another even though Mom said to stop being the mommy. Oh, and Mom's trying to help, over the phone, my grandmother with my grandmother's job. Oh yes, the woes of a sister on Cleaning Day are many and stretched out across many, overly long, hours.

A lot of NOTHING... and randomness. Beware teh random.

So... I'm 'borrowing' my brother's laptop because the charger port on mine was acting up and it's taking longer than expected to get it back and so I have a TON of schoolwork piled up, not counting projects, that I really don't want to do right now. And mom took me to a concert last night. my feet aren't too happy, my ankle is protesting, my head feels heavy(in no way what so ever connected to alcohol. Beer is nasty to me and who wants to be thirsty right after they drink?), somehow my knees hurt, for some reason my shoulder aches, I can't focus, and is that happy jazz I hear in my head? He-hey! You just got a glimpse into how my mind works! Did you like it? That's what goes on in my head most of the time. Oh, and I found out last night that my happy little nothing music that plays when I'm bored but happy and want to play around with music is pretty much jazz. Funny, since I usually listen to Christian rock or Celtic music such as Silly Wizard. The Electrics are fun too. 'And that was the last of the Irish Rover!' Okay, reality, hi! I'm silly, crazy, and highly unorganized, can you tell? I bet you can! Whoo! Yeah, this is usually how I get at around ten... or if I've had a Coke. Right now, neither of those requirements have been met. Hum. Odd. I love my family! wow, random much? Ah, who cares, this is just to get my manic, random, hoopla type energy out. Say, what does 'hoopla' mean? Such an odd word, hoopla. Okay, I think I've wasted enough time here. Time to work on History! Fun.
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blegh

Memory verses

Yeah, you know what I'm talking about. Memory verses. Do you remember the little songs your Sunday school teachers and Kid's Church pastors tried to use to help you memorize verses? Do you even remember the verses you were asked to memorize? How many do you remember, from kid's church or otherwise? I remember Proverbs... 16:21 or 21:16? I get confused. Dyslexia sucks sometimes. Then there's Psalms 100 and Psalms 23. John 3:16, the staple of the Christian religion. Lets see... what else? James... 2:18, 'But someone will say, 'you have faith, I have deeds.' Yeah, just read that whole chapter, James is awesome. Ok, church is about to start in about five minutes, so I should wrap this up pretty quick.

... Clown spiders? Where does my mom find these strange things? Her phone. But where on the Internet? I may never know how she found the Clown Spider... and I doubt I want to.

Later!
Lil Bit.

The Rant of a Frazzled Woman

Ok, so, I'm nearing college, my parents are thinking of moving, my mom thinks I should change my career choice, my ACT math and science scores are too low so I'll need to take the test a second time, I have no clue which college I'm going to seriously gun for, I keep hearing things about the church that make me quirk my eyebrows, and ideas pop into my head but before I could even think about acting on them, I'm reminded by some part of me that it is unlikely to happen. I am a writer. Writers write more than talk, so I don't often feel the need to talk. When I do feel the need to talk, away from when I'm watching children, there is no-one for me to talk to that won't get bored, or that even hear me. This is a rant. A rant about how hard it is trying to sort out college, high school, what I'm going to do after college, what I'm going to do before college, how I'm going to pay for... living, and dealing with my family. I mean really. Look at all that! And to cap it off, I am, if you haven't noticed, quite introverted. And I'm looking at an extrovert's career path. So many things say I can't do it and yet I know that I am meant to work with kids. I felt as though God told me that I was suppose to work at an orphanage  possibly as a children's pastor, years ago and I still feel that I need to work with kids. Teacher, daycare worker, social worker, counselor, pastor, it doesn't really matter. I want to work with kids. Teacher Education and/or certification can get me babysitting, daycare, or teaching jobs which are markets that are good if not great. I might be able to do counseling or social work, but... I don't know! I just don't know! I feel like a kid, just some hotshot. Like I never out grew the annoying little sister phase. Just thinking about all this while writing it is making me want to start crying. It's like, I cant do anything right! Nothing worth while anyway. There might be an extremely slim chance of me making a living as an author  but only the slimmest of chances. I don't care what you've heard, there is barely a shadow of a chance that I'll even publish a book, much less that book being a best seller. *sigh * Ranting once in a while is good. Releases tension. Ok, on with the rest of my day.
Later!
Lil Bit

The Third Year

Ok, not a full, to-the-day, three years, but it's still been roughly three years since I started this blog. I've been lazy, I've been deep, I've been silly, I've been serious, and only one person leaves comments though I know for a fact that in the last week alone, this blog has gotten twenty views. Now, I realize that Americans surf the web like they surf the ocean, but still. Would it hurt to leave a comment? I realize that a lot of what I share is irrelevant or boring to most, but still. Come on guys! I'm a high school kid! Cut me some slack! Our emotional states are fragile enough as it is, we don't need people brushing us off like dirt. Ok, that was a bit harsh and winy  but it was meant to be sarcastically funny. Oh, and remember when I posted about how I hate it when certain keys get sticky? Well today it's the 'y' key. You'd be amazed how often the English language actually uses the letter 'y', and how many times words that have the letter 'y' in them are used in even half a day. Yeah, it's more than you'd think. In fact, just count how many 'y's there are that are not in half quote marks. You might be surprised... unless you work as a newspaper editor or a clerk or some such. Then you'll probably roll your eyes at this silly little youngster. Well guess what? YOU WERE ONCE MY AGE! And you know what else? You probably had the same thought about some letter that was difficult to write, a key that was hard to press on the typewriter, or a key that was hard to press on the junky keyboard you learned how to type on. Ok, petty ranting over. Sorry about that. Anyway... did I have a point? Oh yeah! Three years. Kinda cool to think about it. I've had this blog for three years. And you know what? I might still be writing on it after I've graduated college and gotten a job with thankless children yelling and making me want to tear out my hair in despair. Oh hey. That almost rhymed. On a completely different note, it's hard to tpe with a cat resting her head on my right arm. It's my dominate hand after all.

Just Gotta Say...

History projects are yuck, and so are sticky space bars. Honestly, I've had to bang on the space bar   to get it to work several times today. It sucks when you have to press it with both thumbs to make sure it actually makes a space. But then there are the times when it makes spaces when you don't want it to. I hate that too. Anyway, Socialism and Free Enterprise. Ten days to complete a paper and turn it in before it's considered late. I hate my procrastinator personality. On one hand, it gives me plenty of inspiration from videos, but on the other makes it really hard to write papers. So, really, sucks to be me. But at least I got my mom a pretty, useful for the whole family, birthday present. Blah, now I don't have anything to say to aid me in my dodging of my paper. * sigh* I hate papers... and most of my schoolwork... and yet I want to be a teacher... a science/history teacher. Yeah, how did that happen?

... Dude

You know those things that just make you stop, stare, and after a few moments you find that the only thing you can say after seeing, hearing, feeling whatever it is is 'dude'? Well, I logged out of my 'Rae' account and into my 'Lil Bit' account and looked at some of the stats. I cannot believe some of the things I see when I look into my viewing history. I know probably more than half of those stats are people who randomly find this blog while looking for a way to kill some time, but still. Russia, Germany, Poland... dude, seriously? More than three views for any one post is awesome to me and I look into the history and see something like 4-7 pageviews and I'm like 'Woohoo! there's actually people out there besides Mel who reads this stuff? Seriously?' I just had to put that out there. Also, the referring sites? one of them was topblogstories. I didn't even know something like that existed, must less that it would point to me. I mean, really, most of the stuff I have here is just what a normal person goes through or has floating around in their head. Nothing really deep, except every now and then I might share something I found cool or meaningful. Dude, I really am rambling now aren't I?

Something else that makes me go 'dude' is a couple hundred feet of slick plastic laid out on a kinda steep hill, lathered with baby oil, and drenched in water with a whole youth group slipn' and sliden' down it every which way. Oh yeah, fun times for my youth group. I wasn't so sure about our new youth pastor, but one thing I will say about him and his wife: they have brought a bit more life to our stuffy youth ministry. For that, I gotta give em some sort of credit. Not too many people can take a dead room of sulky teenagers and put some energy back into them.

More musing on the word 'dude'. Has anyone noticed how often it is used in America with meanings vastly different than its actual meaning? I mean, I've always thought it was first used to refer to guys who surfed, you know, surfer dudes. But we've come to use it differently than that. It's more of a... filler word or... something I can't quite think of but I'm sure someone else will. Like, 'dude, you just got owned,' or 'dude, that looked like it hurt,' or just plain, 'dude' in the face of something that defies all other words. Its a word used a lot like 'wow' or 'oh'. We use 'man' in much the same way, but we use it for its actual meaning more than we use 'dude' for its actual meaning. Dude, the English language is strange. One has to have a lot of respect for foreigners who can speak English as well as the next guy, 'cuase English is pretty confusing if you aren't raised in it.

music, musings, and blah

So, first, I was looking through places I had bookmarked in my paper bible and I noticed Psalm 100.

"Psalm 100 1-5, ESV
1  A Psalm for giving thanks. Make a joyful noise to the LORD, all the earth!
2  Serve the LORD with gladness! Come into his presence with singing!
3  Know that the LORD, he is God! It is he who made us, and we are his; we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture.
4  Enter his gates with thanksgiving, and his courts with praise! Give thanks to him; bless his name!
5  For the LORD is good; his steadfast love endures forever, and his faithfulness to all generations."

Now, I look at this and say, 'Hey look! God likes it when we sing our hearts out and dance like fools!' Something seems to me to be contradicting some of the things I've heard about certain denominations of the church. No, I am not bashing those who think a certain about of dignity and pose must be maintained in the church and that such acts would shame said church, I'm just saying that God likes it when we sing and dance. Now, I'm embarrassed to dance in front of other people, and I won't sing unless there's enough noise to cover it up, but I'll sing in church and I'll dance like a fool in my room... while singing my little heart out.

• Musings

Yesterday I finished reading the play 'Our Town.' It wasn't as bad as I had been lead to believe, but it was one of those things you read and after you get over the 'what did I just read?' factor, it starts to make you go, 'man, that got me good.' People are always caught up in something or another and don't relish the life that they have. In the questions following my reading of the play, I was asked "what is the value beyond price of the little things in life?" It is something you cannot put in words, or at least, something I cannot express in words. I won't tell you to read the play, just the last act. It's a fairly easy read, but it hits you hard after you finish. My rambling here won't really make much sense until you read Act 3 of Thornton Wilder's 'Our Town.'

• Blah

One word. School. I don't think I need to elaborate much beyond that. Math is sucky, English is having me read 'To Kill a Mockingbird' next unit and that's sucky cause it makes it hard for me to do several lessons and catch up to where I need to be so I can finish somewhere in the general vicinity of on time. ON a happier note, Bible and History are looking to be finished early... so I have more time and mental energy to burn on English and Math. Ergh. Oh well, that's what I get for being a procrastinator. And over the summer I'm looking to get a job that I can hold all through the end of high school as that I can start saving for college and life on my own. Which means a car, a better phone(preferably with GPS), an apartment, tuition, food, gas, and whatever else I need. Real life sucks.

Summer... or not

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! It's MAY! It's MAY in stinkin' ALABAMA! WHY IS IT STILL RAINING and on top of that STINKIN' COLD!?! ok, mini rant over. Where weather is concerned any way. My sister has graduated, most schools are out, I've already had two finals, but i still won't finish school until JUNE! Ok, so my natural laziness might have something to do with that, but COME ON! Are you kidding me?! Now I'm done ranting.

All my stories are stalled, I have a sneaking suspicion this blog is basically just me yelling into the wind by now, despite what the numbers say on the post list, and I've already cleaned my room. Twice. School is stalled, except for (sorta) math, history, and Bible and my muse has either fallen asleep(like my cat) or run away so I'm stuck. I actually went on facebook today. FACEBOOK! I have got to be bored to do that. Course, I have to be bored to post on here now. My life is so boring and I have nothing smart, funny, or uplifting to say most of the time. Plus FaceBook doesn't give enough space for me to suffecently rant. Dad's back, time to scream.

condensing Shakespeare and other musings

Have you ever tried to condense Shakespeare? How about simply one scene of some play? Have you ever been tasked with presenting said play by yourself? It is horridly difficult and while it is three pages, or, two front and back and one front, in the book it is still a total of two pages after paraphrasing as much as I can. Garg, I hate drama, though Much Ado About Nothing is funny as all get out, even if the syntax is a little difficult to follow from times to time.

On another note, I'm stuck on one of my stories and I'm going to ask for ideas from whoever reads this. Please keep all ideas PG and as straight as possible. Here's the plot so far. A knight on a quest to find his long lost twin meets a childhood friend who has been enslaved. They join forces, since the friend can understand the knight and said knight had sworn to never speak until he found his brother. As they track down the brother, they are joined by a barbarian and a poacher's daughter. Oh, this is a fantasy story in case you haven't noticed. So, the brother has been found, the poacher's daughter has tried to confront the knight about her affection for him, the brother has revealed that the amulet their mother left them is the Amulet of the Seer and lots of people are already gunning for it, the boys are out and about in the town leaving the girl and the knight alone at the inn, the knight told the girl they needed to finish their talk and that's where I'm a little stuck. Should the knight confess he loves her as well, what should the responses of their traveling companions be, and how should I transfer from the 'looking of the Magi' segment to the 'trying to save the kingdom and stay away from rabid hunter type people who want the power/money the amulet can bring them' part? Again, keep all suggestions clean.

I might ask for more help with stories and if anyone, not just my follower, has any ideas for a blog story I will be more than willing to oblige... as long as they're family friendly and, perhaps most importantly, straight.

Later,
Lil Bit

Switching emails... it's a pain

So, I got a gmail last Monday and switching over has been a breeze, until I tried to get on this blog. I had to invite myself to be a co-author! How crazy is that? now I'll have to beat around the bush if I want to do any admin work on here and who knows where the email notifications are going to go. Yahoo or Google, Google or Yahoo, only the internet knows. Anyway, wasting time before trying to condense an entire scene of Shakespeare's Much Ado about Nothing, fun, right? Hah, try finding a scene in that that moves the action forward. THERE IS NO ACTION, not really. Anyway, I found a passage that was all female, since it would be hard from me to do a guy's voice for very long and besides, it would just be plain awkward, but now I need to condense it because the bit I chose would have left people hanging. Grrr, oh well, at least she(my essay writing teacher) approved the scene. Funny how I'm not taking a poetry class and yet I have to recite narrative poetry for my final. THIS POST HAS LITTLE TO NOTHING TO DO WITH THE TITLE! Oh well, just means the name of the blog is fitting. I've always had a problem with rambling. Anyway, I was a good little girl for two weeks, but then I lost my momentum again. Ah, I sure hope I don't get smacked by that baseball bat of disapproval and disappointment again. That hurt, and it was most painful because I hit myself with it too. Hey, ever wonder why adding just one 'o' to 'to' changes the meaning? Or how about a 'w' between the 't'  and the 'o'? And where do you put a question mark when you have quote marks within quote marks, or just quote marks in general? The grammar rules of the English language, no wonder we have problems learning other languages. Then again, how about those languages that are accent oriented, the ones where BUMBulbee is different than bumbulBEE? How would you like to learn one of those for you're second language? Or your first for that matter. Just imagine learning a language like ours if you first learned one like the aforementioned. Now that would be difficult. OK, I've wasted enough of both our times.
Later!
Lil Bit

School is a beast

I got told off by my conciseness and now I've banned myself from my stories and most of my other activities(on the internet and most certainly not naughty so get that outta yo head!). Right now I'm taking a break between polishing a re-written essay, writing two journal entries  and picking out five topics for a research essay from a website/blog and doing my Chemistry review and practice problems in preparation for the test I'm going to take tomorrow so I can turn it in on Tuesday. On top of this I have a speech I need to polish before Saturday because that's when I'm giving my practice run-through and the week after that is my BVN weekend and I will so not have the time for anything for the next two or more weeks as I buckle down on my school and my speech so without a doubt there will be no posts between now and then. After my weekend I make no promises. Junior year is rough, especially if your own mother doesn't know if you'll make it to college. My sister said I'd make it without a doubt and do well as a teacher but mom said she wasn't so sure when I asked her the same question. It's sad when only one person in your family will tell you you're going to make it and it hurts oh so much to hear my own mom say, 'I don't know sweetie, maybe it's not for you' when asked if she thought I'd make it into college. That is not what you tell a student who really wants to make it to college if you want them to work hard in senior year with a cheerful outlook. Just thinking about it I can feel tears pricking at my eyes and a bout of minor depression beginning. Pray for me this week and next, I'm gonna need it big time with the math, history, English, and Chemistry I have backed up and biting me in the butt. Oh don't go acting all high and mighty on me! You know what it feels like, I'm sure, when you're being buried in classwork, homework, familywork, and churchwork. It feels like all those days you put it off are coming and biting or whupping your butt. Anyway, I need to get dinner and then work on Chem homework, otherwise tomorrow is going to be way rougher on me and Mom than it should be.

See ya in two weeks or so!
Lil Bit.

... nothing...

I got next ta nothin' ta say.

I missed Valantine's Day Post! I forgot to make a post on the day of love! GAH! ok, I'm good now. Anyway, love is letting your little brother lean on you then pushing him up to teach him to stand, or sit, on his own. Love is letting your little brother sleep until 40 minutes before church and then forcefully tell him to get dressed. Love is feeding medicine laced applesauce to a family member every day at 9 AM and 9 PM to prevent seizures. Love is knowing when to stand beside and when to back away and offer silent support. Love is understanding your mom when she gives you a look and doing whatever it is you know she wants without complaining. Love is a lot of things but it is never cruel or nasty. Love is kind, gentle, patient, and understanding. It can be tough, it can be contrary, but it is a wonderful thing that can drag you from the darkest pit into the brightest light... unless you're Romeo and Juliet or Cleopatra and Mark Antony, then it can kill you and cause a whole lot of heart ache, but mostly it's a marvelous thing to be celebrated and not shunned.

Ok, that's all I got. Later!
Lil Bit

Church love

The fate of modern churches is saddening. Listening to those around me, I hear things that shake my trust in church. 'You can't get stuff from them,' 'Ministry takes all you can give and then casts you away when it has taken all it can and moves to the next person,' are but two of the comments that make me say, 'hey wait! This is church?' Church is love. Love is waking up at six in the morning to get dressed and drive to the building to set up the sound system and rig up the lights so the mood is set. Love is standing before others with sweaty palms and teary eyes to tell what Jesus has done. Love is singing yourself hoarse to the glorification of the Lord... when no-one else will. Love is giving up a chance to hear what the preacher has to say to look after loud, rowdy children. Love is staying up all night to write your sermon and then chucking it out the window to make way for an all day worship session. Love is walking out into the savanna to tell natives the grace of God. Love is God, God is love, church... is God's love made human. If the church is God's love made human, why does the church take all its members have to give and never gives anything back? Love is giving, so why doesn't the church give to its members as much as its members give to it? If love is grace, why is church so high maintenance?

Look at the early church, back in the time of the Roman Empire. That was church, not the pretty thing we've made it. They helped each other, they shared their home and food with each other. Even in prison, they danced and they sang and they spat in the devil's face saying, 'God is with us, what in heaven, hell, and all that is in-between can you do to me?' Us? we meet once or twice a week and we pour all we have into a never ending well that never does run wet. Oh, no, you heard me right. Our well that 'never will run dry' is what we pour ourselves into and it never yields anything but exhaustion. We pour our fire into others who soak it up but do not pour into us. Back in the early church, if you needed something, you got it. The thing is, we try to do that now, and the road only goes one way. That's not how it works. I give you something, you give me something, and we cycle through life. You want me to make you a video, you give me the time to make it without heckling. You want something on a disk, you give me the money to buy more and the time to make it. The early church would meet in wine cellars under cover of darkness because despite the soldiers walking about waiting to catch a believer on his way to church, they wanted to come together and learn more about the one who loves no matter what and grants forgiveness and a chance to change. We have the freedom to meet in broad daylight! We put up signs showing where we meet and we dress up an earthly building trying to pull others into the heavenly embrace of the Creator God and we fuss with the lights and the sound and the picture when really all we need is God and faith that He will show up and inhabit the praises of His people. If you speak of Him, He will come. You know the saying, 'speak of the devil and the devil will appear'? Let us change it around and say, 'speak of the Lord God and He shall come.' Ask His anointing, as His guidance and what you preach will fill a need. Tell what He has done and He shall come nearer to hear and touch your lips to speak it clear.

What is 'church'? Look at the church in the time of Rome and you shall see. What does it mean to be saved? Look to the apostles, and you will see what it is to be an evangelist  Look to Easter, Ruth, Naiome, Rahab, David, Daniel, and so many others and you shall see what it means to be a man or woman of God. Read the story the bible tells and you will see the family of the Lord.

Now, the people I hear may just be grumpy, but you don't have to take my word for it. Go and examine what you call 'church' and then look at what the BIBLE says is 'church' and see how the modern world stacks up. I remember that some time ago, I said we were approaching a wake up call, that I felt, for lack of a better or less cliche term, a quickening in my spirit that my youth group was about to get a wake up call. It is not just my youth ministry that needs a spiritual wake up call, it is the Church. All 'believers' need a wake up call this age. How humbling, yet effective would it be if the call came from the children of the nation?

Well, Dad's tying my shoes together. Time to punch that trickster. Later!

Lil Bit.

Second grade math... hard?

I just got done getting my  brother(second grade) to do his math. You've heard(read) my grousing about my math, but that's pre-cal. He was complaining over ADDING! I confess, I showed him my math binder. He just gave it a blank stare. Sure, my glare and shouts(despite my sore throat which is about to choke me now) might have had something to do with his silence, but still. One problem was: '46 = ___ tens + ___ ones = 3 tens + ____ ones.' ... His answer? ' 4 tens + 6 ones = 3 tens + 6 ones.' ... my response to his answer? '... *rawthroated yell of fury* WHAT THE HECK?! HOW DID YOU GET THAT?!' He whimpered. After what felt like thirty minutes and like five different ways of trying to explain the process, he finally gets it. Sighing in relief, I left him to fill out the rest and took my BB gun out side to shoot at whatever. I empty one clip after petting my cat who came to me crying to be pet and then Noise comes easing the door open behind me and shows me the last problem he needed to solve. It was a word problem. I set it up with 133 on top and 48 on bottom with a line underneath, like you'd set up any old addition problem and he solved it just fine. It took him two tries and another clip to get it right in his book. Then, just as I was headed back to my spot on my bed where I sit with my laptop, he says his computer isn't working. I turn off the power strip, wait until the count of ten or so, then switch it all back on. So, I have emptied three clips, shouted myself hoarse(though it was kinda easy considering my cold) and have forbidden Noise from bothering me for an hour, even though he wanted the computer so he could watch a movie. I currently have one earbud playing Irish music, my laptop, and a warm, purring cat. For the next hour, or maybe two hours once I put in his movie, I am happy.

BBbbllluuuuuuuuug... and sniffle.

I. Hate. Colds! Nuff said.

So, I went to class Monday, like always, and I was all ready to give my speech... sorta. WE ran out of time so i got an extra week which was good 'cus my speech sucked and I have a cold and my nose was all stuffed up REALLY BAD that day and I took my Chem test and typed up my lab report and printed it out this morning and then I felt like i was... my stomach hurt, let's put it that way... so I stayed home and now I have to work on my Essay Writing stuff and there's about as much stuff crowding my mind from BOTH English classes as well as Pre-Cal and Chem as there is in this extremely long and confusing run on sentence from the hyper active mind of a high schooler that is making you wonder when on earth is she going to end it and is most likely giving you a headache similar to mine right now which isn't really bad but it's REALLY annoying. Woot! If you got this far, I grant you a cyber cookie. looking back at that first... sentence?... I think that's the longest sentence I've ever written. And it would make almost any English teacher want to beat me with a Webster's Dictionary. Ah, the power of a random mind, it drives everyone mad. Anyway, to sum up, bad cold(though getting better), too much math to handle, fair amount(NOT!) of Essay Writing homework, an annoy brother and headache, Chemistry I need to do,  and an achy throat due to aforementioned cold.

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I HATE COLDS!

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Love later in week and I have no idea what was wrong with the verse I tried to copy into my last post. The comment after the big white space won't make sense unless you look up the reference. Have a blessed day free from the horror that is colds and... DON'T LET YOUR HOMEWORK PILE UP! IT WILL EAT YOU(metaphorically of course)!
*Sniffle sniffle, gag, cough, hack *
Later, *cough*
Lil Bit
P.S: the cold isn't quite as bad as I made it sound but still, you know what I mean.

Musings on 'love'

So, it all started when Mom started redecorating the bathroom. Yeah, I know, what an odd way to start a post, but bare with me, it gets better. No really, it does! Anyway, the word love really started to seem like it was out to get me when mom went to hobby lobby looking for ideas for the bathroom, since it needs a new coat of paint. She came back wit a blue/purple box with peace symbols and 'love' all over it, a wall hanging that said 'do what you love', and a small towel rack kinda thing in the same color scheme and covered in hearts. A few days previously,  I was asked to serve on a Christian retreat kinda deal. I was thinking on it like, yeah, ok, I might give that a shot when I started daydreaming like I often do. In that, I was thinking along the lines of my giving the Christian Life talk. Then the love theme bathroom stuff came, and then the call to formally ask me to serve... and give the Christian Life talk, I said yes, and for reference this happened on Monday. Tuesday, I get the outline for my talk and a letter for the heads and professors. It said the theme was love. The retreat mom and dad work is love themed as well. All the bible verses I catch flying around the house are love themed. Several of the songs flying around are love themed. Can you blame me for thinking this one, simple, yet complex as the ocean, word is out to get me? Anyway, so today mom asked me if I was ready to life on purpose this year. I was like, um, ok. But then when I tried to open my e-sword, my computer went on the fritz. Ok, it was freaking out before that, but it was nearly 10:30 and I was starting to freak. Luckily, mom was able to sort it all out. Anyway, back to the whole 'living on purpose' thing. Part of the 'challenge' was to journal weekly. Not a big problem for a gal like me who loves to write, but I have a small problem with finding the right verses to read. So, just a few minutes before starting this post, I turned to biblegateway.com. I typed in the word 'love' and got one good verse... and a couple that might make me blush. Anyway, here is today's 'love' verse. I think I'm going to do month long challenges and do bible searches on a single word and post at least weekly on that word. Sound good? No? Too bad! I'm doing it! Anywho, here's my love verse for the day. Enjoy!

1 Corinthians 13:1

If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing. 

So yeah. Love is important. I think I may just work my way through that chapter this month(meaning Febuary). Also, if you have another word you want me to pontificate on, let me know! I love comments :) Anyway, I've wasted enough time and I've still got a boatload of math to do. Crud! My history participation project! And the one for English! I forgot about them AGAIN! Darn school, always cramping my style(I don't plan on dropping out mind you. I'm just frustrated  Who wouldn't be?) Gah! stop typing!

Later gators!

Lil Bit

Tuesday of Acomplishment

Ok, so, Tuesdays I have Chem class at eight, so naturally I'm up at around six thirty or seven.  I got home about, lets say, ten twenty, and I get a snack and start on my Essay Writing homework. I dead wall, but I try to push through. I fail until lunch time when, naturally, I get lunch. I goofed off until about five til one when mom had said she'd force me to do part of the ton of math I mentioned yesterday. She hadn't gotten lunch and Noise was being, well, a seven year old who doesn't want to do school. So, I set down my laptop(glorious invention!) and went outside to rake leaves. I don't know for sure how long I was out there but I have two lovely, mid sized piles to show for my toil. Sometime between the creation of the first pile and the second, Noise comes bounding out along with our faithful dog. Like any little kid, he wants to play in the leaves. I chase him from my pile by raking one up for him to play in. Just as I was finishing his, mom said she was ready for me. So I come in, get a goblet of water(yes, I did say goblet. Do'n't you drink water out of glass goblets?) and sat down to work on math. I did a lesson and a quiz and started doing my bible and English. Then I moaned over to my bed, fell face down on it, and 'pet' my cat. After that almost power nap that couldn't be called a nap because I was conscious  I forced myself up and threw a minor fit when I considered how much math I had piled up. I'm talking nine assignments after the two i had just completed. Then I saw that the next two lessons and quizs were on graphs. So i was like 'Oh! Well, I can do graphs,' and so now, I have completed six assignments in math, a Chemistry lesson, my Bible for today, my English for today, and half of my Essay Writing homework as well as raking almost half the back yard. So yeah, Tuesday, much better than Monday in my book.

As for the comment suggestions, thanks! I'll try to write at least one of them, but what did you mean 'Manga type'? You mean like super hero journal, school life drama, anime fan fic? Heck, what I just wrote was high school drama. Anyway, I'll pick one and try to get it out for you. I think I've rambled sufficiently for today, though my next post may be longer. Then again, it may be longer. Eh well, se la ve.
Later!
Lil Bit.

Why I hate Mondays

Honestly, it's not the day that I have a problem with, it's what the day often brings. Like school. I really don't have a problem with school itself, but I do when I'm not where I should be. Like I am now. Mondays I basically have work in every subject of school I have. I need to read a few pages of Chemistry, no biggy. I have class at nine, ok, a bit more of  problem, but not huge. I don't eat breakfast because, a, I have my retainers in and b, I feel sick right after I wake up, not hungry, and class lasts two hours and fifteen minutes plus my house is about thirty minutes away from the church where said class is taught. Then, my 7 year old brother overreacts big time to his school, problem. He's in 2nd grade! He's ADDING and he calls it HARD?! I take a small amount of offense to that. then I check in to my computer classes and see a block of stuff. Granted, a goodly portion of the block is projects, but there's a ton of math. If you're anything like me, five assignments in math is a ton. I'm talk'n seven. Yeah, that's a pain. English, Bible, World History? Not a problem, but math? Oh yeah. I know it's not the math, per se, it's me, but still. So, to sum up, Essay Writing class from nine to eleven fifteen, Chemistry, block of projects, block of math I can't even process today, English, Bible, World History, whiny brother, annoyed mother, and cold house. Yep, it's a Monday, not too great but at the same time, not entirely horrible. Tomorrow I might gripe about having mom crack the whip and making me do four assignments of math at the very least, but I will have asked for it. Ah well, I'm going to try and address the problems of procrastination and laziness in my life but it's going to be tough and any posts I make for a while will most likely be pity parties where readers just bob theirs heads and agree with my groaning rather than something actually interesting.

Ooh! Brain Wave! Submit journal-story ideas in the comments and I'll see if I can write it out. That might make me post more often and with more interesting material. Just saying.

later!
Lil Bit